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Before computers: * Memory was something you lost with age
* An application was for employment
* program was a TV show
* cursor used profanity
* keyboard was a piano
* web was a spider's home
* virus was the flu
* CD was a bank account
* hard drive was a long trip on the road
* mouse pad was where a mouse lived

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   Before computers:

* And if you had a 3.5 inch floppy . . . . . you just hoped nobody ever found out! !
* Windows were clear glass objects fixed in walls.
* Wallpaper was actually on your wall and made of paper.
* mouse was a small furry rodent.
* The net was something you caught fish with.
* notebook was something you wrote in.
* laptop was where you got a lapdance.
* bug was small, crawly, living and perhaps less annoying.
* browser was someone looking, but unlikely to buy.
* port was a place where ships gathered.
* Surfing meant riding waves in the ocean.
* site was a place where an event occured, usually construction.
* PC meant nothing, not even politically correct.
* Bill Gates was just another eccentric geek.
* a 5.25 inch floppy was still better than a 3.5 inch floppy!
* A provider was someone who brought money and food to the family.
* Hardware was hammers, ladders, saws and stuff like that.
* Spam was canned, salty mystery meat.
* Java was a kind of coffee.
* You usually "booted" something only once.
* "Start" would be last button you would push to shut something down!!

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