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What's in the name A good-looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said, "I want to be a movie star." Tall. handsome, and with experience acting, he had the right credentials.

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The agent asked, "What's your name?"

The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

The agent told him, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name."

"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old. I will not disrespect my grandfatthers by changing my name. Not ever."

The agent responded, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for many years. You will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. There will be disruptive snickering in the audience and people will not be paying attention to your acting. I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you."

"So be it, then! I guess we will not do business together," the guy said, and he left the agent's office. Five years later the agent opens an envelope sent to his office. In it is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck. Who would send him $50,000? He reads the enclosed letter.

"Dear Sir, Five years ago I came to your office, wanting to become an actor in Hollywood. You told me I needed to change my name.

"Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name, I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have succeeded without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

"Thank you for your advice.

"Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke"


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