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Classified Ads (part 2) ....contd

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   Classified Ads (part 2)

"Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months."
"A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms."
"Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00."
"Government employer looking for candidates. Criminal background required."
"His and hers bicycles, $25 each or both for $55."
"For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers."
"Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too."
"Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory."
"We'll move you worldwide throughout the country."
"We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand."
"Tattoos done while you wait."
"Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it."
"Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children."
"If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachaise Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin."
"Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else."
"Stock up and save. Limit: one."
"For Rent: 6-room hated apartment."
"Wanted to buy: fishing net, must have no holes."
"TO LET: 4 bedroom house close to town. No poets."
"This house has been fully insulted."
"Man, honest. Will take anything."
"Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!"
"Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink."
"3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred."
"Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included."
"Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops."
"Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again."
"Illiterate? Write today for free help."
"Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary."
"Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating."
"Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale."
"And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience."
"We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00."

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