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Why it is great to be a Bloke * A 5 day holiday requires only one suitcase
* Toilet queues are 80% shorter
* We can open all our own jars
* Phone conversations last 30 seconds
* We know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes
* Old friends don't care if we've lost or gained weight
* When TV surfing, we don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying
* Our last name stays put
* We can leave a hotel room bed unmade.
* We can kill our own food
* The garage is all ours
* We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
* We never have to clean the toilet
* We can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
* If someone forgets to invite us to something, they can still be our friend
* Our underwear costs £4.50 for a pack of 3
* None of our co-workers have the power to make us cry
* We don't have to shave below our neck
* If we're 34 and single, no one notices
* Chocolate is just another snack

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   Why it is great to be a Bloke

* We can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat
* Flowers & duct tape - and we can fix everything
* We never have to worry about other's feelings
* Three pair of shoes are more than enough
* We can say anything and not worry about what people think
* We can whip our shirt off on a hot day
* Car mechanics tell us the truth
* We don't give a flip if someone doesn't notice our new haircut
* We can watch a game in silence for hours without our friend thinking "He must be mad at me."
* One mood, all the time
* We can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve ourselves to look like him.
* Same work. More pay.
* Gray hair and wrinkles add character
* Wedding dress; £2000, Tux rental; 100 quid
* We don't care if someone is talking behind our back
* We don't pass on the dessert and then insist upon sharing someone elses
* The remote is all ours
* We need not pretend we're "freshening up" to use the bathroom
* We can go to the bathroom alone
* If we don't call our friend when we said we would, he won't tell our friends I've changed
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, we might become lifelong buddies
* If something mechanical didn't work, we can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet
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