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Top Ten Signs You Have a Bad Travel Agent From David Letterman:

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   Top Ten Signs You Have a Bad Travel Agent

10. Hotel stay is six days and two nights
9. Accepts payment in the form of personal check, credit card or freshly harvested kidneys
8. Won't let you go on vacation for more than a week because he'll miss you
7. When you're in New York, he recommends you see a taping of "The Late Show"
6. Instead of the Ritz, you're staying at the Ratz -- hi-oooo
5. Your "plane ticket" is a post-it note with the handwritten message "Please admit one to the airplane"
4. You have a layover at Laguardia Airport...an 8 day layover
3. No number 3 -- writer on vacation
2. Forget the restroom -- you're riding in a JetBlue wheel well
1. Asks you to deliver a brown paper bag to a guy named Nikoli

--Top Ten Extra:

* Insists that when it comes to hotel and restaurant ratings, "The fewer stars the better"
* Asks you where you want to go, how long you'll be gone, and what's the best way to break into your house
* Says he knows a great whorehouse that accepts frequent flyer miles
* He has you taking Greyhound from New York to Paris
* Says he knows a great whorehouse that accepts frequent flyer miles
* He has you taking Greyhound from New York to Paris




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