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Project Management (Part 2/2) 26. Quantitative project management is for predicting cost and schedule overruns well in advance.

27. The sooner you begin coding the later you finish.

28. Metrics are learned men's excuses.

29. For a project manager, overruns are as certain as death and taxes.

30. Some projects finish on time in spite of project management best practices.

31. Fast - cheap - good - you can have any two.

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   Project Management (Part 2/2)

32. There is such a thing as an unrealistic timescale.

33. The project would not have been started if the truth had been told about the cost and timescale.

34. A two-year project will take three years; a three-year project will never finish.

35. When the weight of the project paperwork equals the weight of the project itself, the project can be considered complete.

36. A badly planned project will take three times longer than expected - a well-planned project only twice as long as expected.

37. Warning: dates in a calendar are closer than they appear to be.

38. Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.

39. There is no such thing as scope creep, only scope gallop.

40. A project gets a year late one day at a time.

41. If you're 6 months late on a milestone due next week but really believe you can make it, you're a project manager.

42. No project has ever finished on time, within budget, to requirements.

43. Yours won't be the first to.

44. Activity is not achievement.

45. Managing IT people is like herding cats.

46. If you don't know how to do a task, start it, then ten people who know less than you will tell you how to do it.

47. If you don't plan, it doesn't work. If you do plan, it doesn't work either. Why plan!

48. The person who says it will take the longest and cost the most is the only one with a clue how to do the job.

49. The sooner you get behind schedule, the more time you have to make it up.

50. The nice thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression.

51. Good control reveals problems early - which only mean you'll have longer to worry about them.

Also see Jokes about Man

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