How Shall I Call Thee Stupid?: (articles) Shooting an empty gun.
Hunting in an empty forest.
A few walls short of a complete house.
A few crumbs short of the cake.
His porch light is flickering.

No grain in the silo.
Receiver is off the hook.
Slinky's kinked.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Not the sharpest pencil in the box.
About a half a bubble off level.
Not the brightest crayon in the box.
A few gunmen short of a posse.
Missing some of dots on his dice?
Only got One Oar In The Water.
Not the quickest bunny in the forest.
The porch lights on, but nobody's home.
Too much chlorine in the gene pool.
Not the brightest bulb on the tree.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The cheese has slipped off the cracker.
Not the brightest star in the galaxy.
Not the sharpest tack in the box.
I.Q. of two, but takes three to grunt.
Thinks the Hard Rock Cafe is a restaurant for boulders.
Tried to read a book "between the lines."
A few chocolate chips short of a cookie.
A few tantrums short of a toddler.
A couple gallons short of a swimming pool.
IQ lower than your average rock.
A couple apples short of a bushel.
Several aliens short of a UFO.
A few CDs short of a jukebox.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
One brick shy of a fireplace.
One bubble short of a bath.
Wheels are spinning but the tires are off the ground.
One eye closed and can't see out of the other.
One tree short of a hammock.
He thinks the Mexican border pays rent.
If he blew up a balloon his head would deflate.
Two slices of bread shy of a sandwich.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a happy meal.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead!
One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Sharp as a marble.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.