Job rules: (articles) Rule 1: There will always be a boss. He will be over 40. He is to maintain a standard of anger and verbal abuse throughout the course of the job. He will always have a sexual potency complex. He will be a veteran of the armed forces (if for some
reason this is not possible, then he must have a complex about that, too).

Rule 2: In order to perform any sort of professional carpentry one must play the same rock or country station all day long, the same station, every day until the job is completed.

Rule 3: The boss will always have a son. The son will have no direction in life (thus he works for his father). The son's duties will include wrecking a car or getting arrested at least once during the course of the job.

Rule 4: There will always be present one Big Scary Guy who just got out of prison.

Rule 5: The aforementioned Big Scary Guy will take it as a personal insult whenever any member of the crew is not working to his standards.

(Rule number five particularly applied to me.)

Rule 6: It will be considered treason and moral weakness on any job site to have concern for one's health.

Rule 7: In order that proper techniques be maintained, upon every carpentry crew there will always be present an old guy who talks too much. Sometimes he may be benevolent. He will always be senile.

Rule 8: If any female passes within 100 feet of a job site, it is mandatory to maintain whistling and making lewd suggestions until she exceeds this distance.