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Fishing Jokes

This human activity is one of the past time for many of us. This is not only about those things living in the water mass but also about the people spending lots of patience and time in this activity. There are many jokes in the form of qestions and answer, and one liner (like What do you call a fish with no eye? FSH!!). Search articles about Fishing

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Reasoning (#4039) A couple goes on vacation to a local Fishing Resort.

The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and continues to read her book.

Along comes a Fisheries Officer in his boat, pulls alongside the woman and says "Goodmorning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book!" she replies, "Isn't it obvious?"

"You are in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up".

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault, "says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the Fisheries Officer.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left.

Genie again (#4038) A fisherman was surf fishing along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened the bottle. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one."

The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii".

The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick."

The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"

Few Short Jokes (#2703) If you're fishing on ice, you should never tell a joke on ice. WHY??? The ice will crack up!

Lee: I just swallowed a fish bone! Counselor: Are you choking? Lee: No, I'm serious!

Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.

Retired colonel, talking of the good old days: Have you ever hunted bear? His grandson's teacher: No, but I've been fishing in shorts.

Few Short Jokes (#2702) Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I'm not fishing, I'm drowning worms.

Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything?
By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home.

I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago. She said "it's me or your fishing. " Gee I miss her.

I was glad when one fish got away. There just wasn't room in the boat for both of us!

Few Short Jokes (#2701) "I caught a twenty pound salmon last week. " "Were there any witnesses?" "There sure were. If there hadn't been, it would have been forty pounds. "

"I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead. " "That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!"

"What's the biggest fish you ever caught?" "That would be the one that measured fourteen inches. . . . " "That's not so big!" "Between the eyes?"

A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. "Have you had any bites?" asked the second man. "Yes, lots, " replied the first one, "but they were all mosquitoes. "

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