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Religion Jokes

Ah! Another world with their own rules and regulations functioning between humans and God. With the coming of industrial civilization, humans are now less afaraid of this world and the professionals working there. Such has the time come that they have start poking fun on these pious soles. Search articles about Religion

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Preacher at the Party (#5870) A local preacher was paying a visit to one of his church members on a Friday night, and heard a loud party as he approached the house. He knocked on the door and the owner answered.

Behind him, he saw a circle of naked men, with blindfolded women moving from man to man, fondling each man's package, and guessing who it was. The preacher, seeing this, said "I'm sorry. I don't think I'd fit in here right now."

"Nonsense," the man replied. "Your name's been called three times already."

Pray while smoking OR (#5771) Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.

Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"

So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray ?"

The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."

Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.

Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."

And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke ?"

To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to."

Good tips (#5767) A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken about sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members.

A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.

She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he's only tried it twice. The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off. "

Marriages are made in heaven (#5743) On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident.

The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St.Peter to process them into Heaven. while waiting they began to wonder could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in heaven.

St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer...for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"

Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.

"Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!!!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?"

another joke (#4256) A nun is undressing for a bath and while she's standing naked, there's a knock at the door. The nun calls, "Who is it?"

A voice answers, "A blind salesman."

The nun decides to get a thrill by having the blind man in the room while she's naked so she lets him in. The man walks in, looks straight at the nun and says, "Uhhhh, well hello there, can I sell you a blind, dearie...?"

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