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Oldage Jokes

These are jokes and humor about the elderly people, relating to a variety of different topics. These jokes relate to retirement, medical problems, relationships, daily activities, interests, wealth, knowledge, appointments, and more! Some may take pity on them from these jokes but this for fun only. We would all end up there one day. Search articles about Oldage

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another joke (#1190) A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse.

To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening.

"Who's the boss around here?" he asked.

"I am. " said the man.

"I have a black horse and a brown horse, " the farmer said, "which one would you like?"

The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one. "

"No, no, no, get the brown one. " the man's wife said.

"Here's your chicken. " said the farmer.

another joke (#1189) A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments.

"My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup. "

"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee. "

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck. "

"My blood pressure pills make my dizzy. "

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old. "

"Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive. "

another joke (#1188) A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like:

"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods. "

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

another joke (#1187) "What's wrong, sonny?" asked the old timer sympathetically, coming over to the little kid who was sitting on the curb, crying his heart out.

"I'm crying 'cause I can't do what the big boys do!"

So the old man sat down and wept too.

another joke (#1162) Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years.

Gus, the elder,had been having problems remembering what cards were what,and usually needed help

from his wife.At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "you did very good tonight.You didn't

need any help at all.Why is that?"

Gus replied, "Why,ever since my wife sent me to that memory school,I haven't had any problems at

all."

"Memory school? What memory school?"

Gus thought for a moment, "Oh what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower...."

"A Rose? asked Red.

"Yeah,thats it!" Gus turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey,Rose! What's the name of that memory school you sent me to?"

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