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funny Doctor jokes

While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a walk.

.....

After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to pe.....

A man goes to a psychiatrist, and tells him, "Doc, I think I have an o.....

A man went to his doctor and told him of his extremely active sex life.....

A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no.....

Charlie wanted a new birth control method and his doctor suggested a v.....

One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and.....

A doctor on his rounds in a mental hospital sees a couple of patients.....

A young lady is in the hospital for an operation.

She says, "Do.....

The nurse was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor s.....

A guy goes to see the doctor about a sore elbow. When he gets in, the.....

A fellow walks into his doctor's office, complaining that he thinks he.....

A young man goes to a doctor for a physical examination.

When h.....

A man was constipated. It was serious, so he decided to go to the doct.....

This overly endowed guy says to his Doctor, "Doc, I've b-b-been st-st-.....

Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck i.....

Joe was moderately successful in the career, but as he got older he wa.....

A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the b.....

"Doc, I think my son has VD," a patient told his urologist on the phon.....

One summer, the company Dave worked for transferred him to another cit.....

Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't ge.....

A man goes to a doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance.....

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date, n.....

A bloke goes to the doctor and says, "I got this sex problem, doc". "W.....

There's this woman and her husband's whose sex life wasn't doing that.....

One day this lady goes into a plastic surgeon's office. She wanted som.....

One day an old man got really sick so his wife went to the doctor and.....

A lady wanted bigger breasts, so she went to her doctor to get a refer.....

A woman went to the doctor asking for bigger breasts. The doctor gave.....

Artery The study of paintings.

Benign What you be after you be.....

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enou.....

A little dwarf lady goes into her doctor's office complaining of an ir.....

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to.....

A Polish girl went to the gynecologist. She disrobed and got up into t.....

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is.....

A man bursts into the doctor's office screaming "Doctor, doctor, my pe.....

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the t.....

A 90-year old man announces his intention to marry a woman of 30.
<.....

This woman has tried every way she can think of to lose weight and not.....

A man was rushing his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospit.....

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved.....

In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient a.....

Two professors were walking through the park one day when they spotted.....

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband gently taps his.....

An 80 year old couple was having problems remembering things, so they.....

A young man goes to his doctor with a personal problem. He pulls down.....

A man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred. The do.....

A woman diagnosed as having a brain tumor was told by her doctor that.....

A nurse from England was on duty in the emergency department, when a p.....

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway complaining about Nurse Jenny.<.....

Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby beg.....

An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of a.....

Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number o.....

A new intern is getting a tour of the hospital. She walks past a room.....

The two housewives were drinking coffee together.

"On my way ov.....

A man comes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. W.....

A woman goes to the doctor complaining of bad knee pains. After the di.....

A guy and a girl met at a bar. They're getting along so well that they.....

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.

A surgeon was retiring from his long and rewarding career as a special.....

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had.....

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating tab.....

Three surgeons discussing their favorite types of patient.

"I l.....

This elderly woman went to the doctor's office for a check up.

.....

Concerned about his failing manhood, a farmer went to the local doctor.....

Four expectant fathers were in Minneapolis hospital waiting room, whil.....

A young woman from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oreg.....

Jack goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I'm having trouble getting my p.....

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked.....

During her annual check-up, a well-built lady was asked to disrobe and.....

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk.....

A beautiful woman walks into a doctor's office and the doctor is awest.....

A lady walks into the dentist's office, takes off her underwear, sits.....

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says,.....

A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office for a sperm count test......

A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipat.....

A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath......

A man went to his doctor seeking help for his terrible addiction to ci.....

"Doctor, doctor!" shouted the woman coming into the doctors office. "I.....

A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam.

T.....

A Doctor was walking down the street and saw a little boy with a bottl.....

There was a man who suffered a serious accident and lost his Penis. Th.....

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. Durin.....

A woman goes to her doctor and says she wants an operation because her.....

A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem......

A Doctor's Phone Rang at home at Three o'clock in the morning.

.....

A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up and everythi.....

A few days before his proctological exam, a one-eyed man accidentally.....

I was due later that week for an appointment with the gynecologist whe.....

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor said.....

Albert walks in to his doctor's office for his yearly physical exam as.....

A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me that.....

An elderly couple were at home when the wife called out "So, when are.....

A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes, getting a l.....

A concerned patient asked the doctor if masturbation is harmful.

An 80-year-old millionaire becomes engaged to a beautiful 22-year-old.....

There's this 70 year old virgin named Mary and she's sitting around th.....

"HOW DID IT HAPPEN?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he s.....

A man with a 25-inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he.....

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will.....

A man went to his doctor seeking help for his terrible addiction to ci.....

An Israeli doctor said "medicine in my country is so advanced, we can.....

The man asked the doctor for birth control pills, and the doctor asked.....

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made wh.....

An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn't quite.....

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to see.....

A man went to the doctor for a physical because he hadn't been feeling.....

A girl walked up to the information desk in a hospital and asked to se.....

A man with a worried look on his face ran into a clinic and asked the.....

Bob gets a call from his doctor with the results of his blood test.

Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I can't remember anything.
Docto.....

One morning at a doctor's surgery a patient arrives complaining of ser.....

Few short jokes Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist.....

Few short jokes What do Psychologists say to each other.....

Few short jokes Patient: Why did you charge me a group r.....

Few short jokes One out of every four people is sufferin.....

Few short jokes How many psychologists does it take to c.....

Few short jokes How many psychiatrists does it take to c.....

Few short jokes How many Dependent P. D. does to take to.....

Few short jokes Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I.....

Few short jokes Doctor, doctor, I'm manic-depressive. Ca.....

Few short jokes Doctor, doctor, I feel so short! No prob.....

Few short jokes Did you hear about the auto mechanic who.....

Few short jokes What's the difference between a surgeon.....

Few short jokes There were ten zebras in the zoo. All bu.....

Few short jokes Patient: I always see spots before my ey.....

Few short jokes Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a p.....

Few short jokes Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, Joh.....

Few short jokes How many physiotherapists does it take t.....

Few short jokes How can you tell who is the head nurse o.....

Few short jokes Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl d.....

Few short jokes Doctor: "Good news you passed your heari.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor, I keep dreaming of bats,.....

Few short jokes Doctor, doctor, can I have a bottle of a.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor When I press with my fing.....

Few short jokes Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thin.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image of h.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I've got bad teeth, foul.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's ma.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar! Have you t.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an electric e.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber band.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a butterfly W.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot. Do.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a spi.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit.....

Few short jokes Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself go.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep. That.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monster.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion.....

Few short jokes Doctor Doctor I'm so ugly what can I do.....

Few short jokes Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a cate.....

Few short jokes Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. T.....

Few short jokes Camp Doctor: Your cough sounds better to.....

Few short jokes "Why are you so excited?", the surgeon a.....

Few short jokes Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist.....

Few short jokes What do Psychologists say to each other.....

Few short jokes Patient: Why did you charge me a group r.....

Few short jokes One out of every four people is sufferin.....

Few short jokes How many psychologists does it take to c.....

Few short jokes How many psychiatrists does it take to c.....

Few short jokes How many Dependent P. D. does to take to.....

Few short jokes Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me I.....

Few short jokes Doctor, doctor, I'm manic-depressive. Ca.....

Few short jokes Doctor, doctor, I feel so short! No prob.....

Few short jokes Did you hear about the auto mechanic who.....

Few short jokes What's the difference between a surgeon.....

Few short jokes There were ten zebras in the zoo. All bu.....

Few short jokes Patient: I always see spots before my ey.....

Few short jokes Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a p.....

Few short jokes Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, Joh.....

Few short jokes How many physiotherapists does it take t.....

Few short jokes How can you tell who is the head nurse o.....

Few short jokes Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl d.....

Few short jokes Doctor: "Good news you passed your heari.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor, I keep dreaming of bats,.....

Few short jokes Doctor, doctor, can I have a bottle of a.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor When I press with my fing.....

Few short jokes Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thin.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image of h.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I've got bad teeth, foul.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's ma.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar! Have you t.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an electric e.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber band.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a butterfly W.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot. Do.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a spi.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit.....

Few short jokes Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself go.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep. That.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monster.....

Few short jokes Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion.....

Few short jokes Doctor Doctor I'm so ugly what can I do.....

Few short jokes Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a cate.....

Few short jokes Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. T.....

Few short jokes Camp Doctor: Your cough sounds better to.....

Few short jokes "Why are you so excited?", the surgeon a.....

Few short jokes Pathlogists have a very low suicide rate.....

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car whe.....

More short jokes about Dentist How many dentists does it tak.....

While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner.....

Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: With pain $20.....

Patient to Dentist: "How much to get my teeth straightened?" "Twent.....

"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off becaus.....

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take.....

More short jokes about Dentist Patient: Doc, what should I d.....

Short jokes about Dentist I'm suffering from bad breath You.....

Few sayings from Dentists: *Dentist to parsimonious patient "N.....

Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled.....

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mout.....

A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I.....

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. .....

More short jokes about Dentist A patient came to his dentist.....

Short jokes about Dentist "Did you get your money?" ask the.....

A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physi.....

Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be 80. Patient: But,.....

There are several kinds of doctors, and it is told that they can be di.....

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we a.....

A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for.....

Old gentleman goes to the doctor very upset. "Doctor, I'm very.....

When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to thei.....

When they arrived at the therapist's office, the therapist jumped righ.....

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiat.....

What is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist? I.....

Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them.....

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination give.....

Three patients at a psychiatric clinic are up for release. The shrink.....

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health.....

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are.....

The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that on.....

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotion.....

Psychiatrist: Well, what's your problem? Patient: I prefer brown sho.....

Patient: I'm really depressed. Therapist: I see. Yes. You are depres.....

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch.....

Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of th.....

How many Histrionic P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? "You w.....

Fred: "Why are you so upset?" Harry: "My wife introduced me to her p.....

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved.....

A psychologist returned from a confrence in Aspen lodge, where all the.....

A psychologist is at a party talking with a small group of people, whe.....

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young.....

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, y.....

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an.....

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to see.....

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating re.....

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them dec.....

"The trouble is, " said the entertainer to the psychiatrist, "that I c.....

"Great news, Mr. Oscarson, " the psychiatrist reported. "After eightee.....

When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, severa.....

Harry was in the hospital. He was an old man. From time to time the yo.....

The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated:.....

The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to p.....

The patient: Tell me, is it true that alcohol decreases blood pressure.....

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we a.....

The ninety-year-old man was in for his checkup when the nurse practiti.....

Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You've had an a.....

Jack: "My brother was sick and went to the doctor. " John: "Is he fe.....

Fireman rescued a man who was badly injured in a car accident. The ent.....

At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyein.....

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an i.....

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you h.....

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arr.....

A nurse had to take a patient back to her room after surgery. Woman wa.....

A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors s.....

A man who was very upset walked in to see his doctor. "Doctor, you've.....

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable.....

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a c.....

A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only h.....

A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is ther.....

A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the fir.....

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patien.....

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You ar.....

A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident. Doct.....

A coffin was being moved when it fell off a wagon, and started down th.....

A baseball manager who had an ulcer was in his physician office for a.....

"What do you do?" a young man asked the beautiful girl he was dancing.....

"Doctor, doctor!" said the panic-stricken woman, "my husband was aslee.....

"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heared once a.....

A physician who did house calls in a far-out rural area, went to the h.....

A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a psychiatrist.....

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to see.....

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating re.....

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them dec.....

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he ent.....

A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the y.....

When they arrived at the therapist's office, the therapist jumped righ.....

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiat.....

What is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist? I.....

Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them.....

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination give.....

Three patients at a psychiatric clinic are up for release. The shrink.....

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health.....

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are.....

The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that on.....

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotion.....

Psychiatrist: Well, what's your problem? Patient: I prefer brown sho.....

Patient: I'm really depressed. Therapist: I see. Yes. You are depres.....

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch.....

Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of th.....

How many Histrionic P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? "You w.....

Fred: "Why are you so upset?" Harry: "My wife introduced me to her.....

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved.....

A psychologist returned from a confrence in Aspen lodge, where all the.....

A psychologist is at a party talking with a small group of people, whe.....

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young.....

A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a psychiatrist.....

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, y.....

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an.....

Harry was in the hospital. He was an old man. From time to time the yo.....

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating re.....

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them dec.....

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he ent.....

"The trouble is, " said the entertainer to the psychiatrist, "that I c.....

"Great news, Mr. Oscarson, " the psychiatrist reported. "After eightee.....

When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, severa.....

Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Pet.....

The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated:.....

The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to p.....

The patient: Tell me, is it true that alcohol decreases blood pressure.....

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we a.....

The ninety-year-old man was in for his checkup when the nurse practiti.....

Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You've had an a.....

Jack: "My brother was sick and went to the doctor. " John: "Is he fe.....

Fireman rescued a man who was badly injured in a car accident. The ent.....

At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyein.....

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an i.....

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you h.....

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arr.....

A nurse had to take a patient back to her room after surgery. Woman wa.....

A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors s.....

A man who was very upset walked in to see his doctor. "Doctor, you've.....

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable.....

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a c.....

A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only h.....

A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is ther.....

A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the fir.....

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patien.....

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "Yo.....

A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident. Doct.....

A coffin was being moved when it fell off a wagon, and started down th.....

A baseball manager who had an ulcer was in his physician office for a.....

"What do you do?" a young man asked the beautiful girl he was dancing.....

"Doctor, doctor!" said the panic-stricken woman, "my husband was aslee.....

"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heared once a.....

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in hi.....

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complet.....

When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to thei.....

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and e.....

A pharmacist arrived at work several minutes late. He found his blonde.....

After having their 11th child, a Tasmanian couple decided that was eno.....

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked a Doctor what the.....

A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the y.....

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim s.....

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what.....

A psychiatrist welcomed a new patient. "Tell me about your problem."

A man went to the doctor for a complete physical exam and checkup. "We.....

A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see.....

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an.....

A successful gynecologist decides to fulfill his life's dream: give up.....

Doctor "Well I have bad news and very bad news" he says. Patien.....

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains! Pull yourse.....

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor.....

I hurt my arm. I went to the Doctors to get it mended. After, I asked.....

Old man Murray goes to the doctor with a very worried look on his face.....

An old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boarding house, broke h.....

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where thei.....

Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window.....

A Scotsman asks the dentist the cost for a tooth extraction. "$.....

How do you hide a $1,000 bill from a surgeon? You hide it in an int.....

A family doctor, an internist, a surgeon and a pathologist go duck hun.....

The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the rec.....

There was this world famous painter. In the prime of her career, she.....

A man was lying on his death-bed in a hospital when suddenly he began.....

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Von Bernu.....

A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits his doctor, who.....

A guy was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a.....

A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided that he needed.....

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?" Doctor :.....

Doctor Bloom, who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis, had a.....

A man wasn't feeling well so he went to his doctor for a complete chec.....

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this pr.....

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while th.....